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Friday, 12.03.2010

Editor's picks

Soundtrack to the Europa League

 

How to write a football chant

 

Zlatan Ibrahimovic makes us eat our words

 

Ever wanted to shoot Cristiano Ronaldo?

 

Why would you want to be a ref?

 

Man City - Champions League winners 2011?

 

What AFC Wimbledon fans have to say

 

The Paul Trollope Interview.

 

This season's worst kits

 

The return of the wandering Rombler

 

Week one's action in the Eredivisie

 

Pick-a pick-a Portuguese Penguin

 

Newcastle United: F**ked, by Darren Douglas  

 

Adebayor. At Arsenal no more. Darren Douglas tells us the score

 

Ian Shine on Premier League new-boys Wolves

 

Part two of the Shineosaur's analysis of Mick McCarthy's side

 

The Joey Barton brochure

 

Ian Shine Hypothesises

 

The Rome's off to Cape Town

 

Bruno Alves, a calculator and a McChicken sandwich

 

The 90Minutes guide to the Confederations Cup

 

Leicester City in profile, with Ian Shine

 

How to spend a Premier League-less summer

 

Revel in the Geordies' misery with Darren Douglas

 

Luis Figo + Non-alcoholic beer = ?

 

What's so good about football?, asks the Shinemeister

 

A European summary in 1531 words? Yes please

 

The Premier League's worst referees

 

Rombling on about a bad week for some

 

Darren Douglas brings us up-to-date on an intriguing Ligue 1 season

 

Do great players = great managers? Find out here 

 

Schteve McClaren tactical genius?

 

Spot the Footballer. Win a prize

 

Darren Douglas ruminates on the fate of former Premier League sides

 

Football's worst haircuts

 

WAGs: Women, but not as we know them

 

Ian Shine on how losing is better than winning

 

The weekend's FA Cup action with Smuggler

 

Spot the footballer. Go on, I dare you

 

If Newcastle's players were racehorses, would they be shot?

 

Benjamin Cullen brings us up-to-date with La Liga 

 

Schoolboy errors with The Rome

 

Darren Douglas on the Hillsborough disaster

 

Spot the footballer week two

 

Benjamin Cullen on Sepp Blatter's 6+5 proposal 

 

The next Maradona's

 

Our all new Spot the Footballer competition

 

Our man in Seoul on the Korean derby 

 

Economic gloom and football's doom - Darren Douglas 

 

Shearer at the Toon - Ian Shine's expert analysis

 

Capello shuns 90Minutes

 

Dangerous at both ends - Ramon Vega

 

'Craving Cottagers', 'The DP arena', and other assorted stadium names 

 

Ian Shine and The Rome give us their England starting 11's

 

Spot the Ball in everyone's favourite football game

 

Under ground, over ground, Rombling free

 

Pro Evo? Fifa? No, Jumpers for Goalposts 2 

 

Sex, drugs and lots of goals

 

Darren Douglas has got the remedy

 

The Liga Sagres is childs-play according to Ian Shine

 

The Rome is a Seoul man

 

Week two of Spot the Ball 

 

The Rome on football and low grade television

 

Didier Drogba: The great enigma

 

The footballing equivalent of a dog turd in your pocket

 

El Benjamino on how usual service was resumed in La Liga 

 

Our very own Spot the Ball competition

 

Is Geovanni on drugs? Phil Brown hopes so

 

Darren Douglas fills us in on the Dutch Eredivisie 

 

Ian Shine on the not so beautiful computer game 

 

The Rome waxes critical on Craig Belamy

 

Footballers' ugly wives

 

Batman, Robin and the Liga Sagres, with Ian Shine

 

The weekend in La Liga

 

Serie A round-up

 

Who killed Joe Cole?

 

How to… write a football chant

 

Sham celebrity football fans

 

Who are harder, footballers or American footballers? The Rome says this... 

 

I told you so. Ian Shine goes over Sporting's 0-5 drubbing

 

In-depth and unbiased, Darren Douglas talks us through Andrei Arshavin's debut

 

Barca lose in derby, Real hammer Betis - Mr Cullen tells all 

 

Darren Douglas on the game's ethic concerns

 

The illusive Tom Osborne is back on Villa's back

 

Romblings of a mad man 

 

Liga Sagres drives Ian Shine to distraction

 

Our man in Spain gets inside the mind of Arsene Wenger

 

The Rome predicts the UEFA Cup results -  and gets most of them wrong

 

Darren Douglas jumps on and leads the Beckham bandwagon 

 

Brazilians rule the roost in Italy 

Latest news

Riot police forced to control angry Sporting Lisbon fans

 

Nani to get £50,000 a week

 

Aberdeen fan catches fire on train

 

Bordeaux top in France as Lyon tumble

 

The managerial merry-go-round spins fastest in Portugal

 

Danny Welbeck's well worth watching

 

Everton want revenge on Benfica

 

Porto's Hulk gets first Brazil call-up

 

Real Madrid lose 4-0 to third division side

 

Angry Milan fans tell partying Ronaldinho to go to bed

 

Almunia - I wanted to be a striker but I couldn't run

 

Veron takes 40% paycut to help youth team

 

46-year-old keeper still going strong

 

Tranmere listed on ebay

 

Russian fans urged to drink vodka to avoid swine flu 

 

Ronaldo to play himself in Iranian movie

 

12-year-old Bolivian boy makes first-team debut

 

Noel Gallagher rejects Cristiano's request for private concert

 

Outrage in China over 'fishy' transfer

 

Zhirkov rejects Abramovic advice 

 

Samuel Eto'o's not answering his phone

 

Chelsea do their bit for deprived children

 

Mark Ward reflects on prison sentence

 

Manchester United training kit resembles Nazi uniform

 

Columbian player shoots fan after 'lousy' jibe

 

Darius Vassell recieves a heroes welcome at his new Turkish club

 

The greatest transfer deals never to happen

 

My wife doesn't like Manchester, says Vidic

 

Milan make Crouch approach

 

Lampard wins £300k in Vegas

 

Ronaldo attacks 17-year-old girl

 

Scolari blames Drogba, Cech and Ballack for sacking

 

Ronaldo was the new George Best, says Pele

 

Deco slates Abramovic

 

Gay referee gets red card in Turkey

 

Cristiano Ronaldo's Porsche up for sale

 

Two guilty in Derby takeover fraud

 

John Terry voted 'Dad of the year'

 

Paul Scholes wins £240k on the nags

 

Key selling points of the Owen brochure

 

Messi adds to modelling portfolio

 

Fabregas happy to see the back of Ronaldo

 

Gabon qualifier postponed after Bongo death

 

Moratti puts £76m price tag on Ibrahimovic

 

Alex Ferguson turned down Arsenal in 1986

 

David Bentley hits the dancefloor in Marbella

 

Maldini criticises sale of Kaka

 

Moaning players steal from fans

 

Putin tries to persuade Burlusconi to sell Kaka to Chelsea 

 

England U21s put goalkeeper up-front

 

Chelsea destroyed my love for football

 

Europe's top 40 transfer targets

 

Denilson fires Vietnamese outfit Cement FC to the top of the table

 

FIFA posts $184m profit

 

Why Gareth Barry has done nothing wrong

 

Blatter opposed to fencing. Yes, fences. 

 

Mancehster United players have their lightbulbs changed for them 

 

Hiddink could be hit with Wembley smoking fine

 

Gary Neville to Middlesbrough

 

Dietmar Hamann in court over £600k gambling debts

 

Paolo Maldini offered a job at Barcelona

 

Brazilian final abandoned after side reduced to six men

 

Theo Walcott admits he's a Liverpool fan

 

Iniesta: We fear Rooney

 

Top Ten relegation buys

 

MAnchester United 1999 heroes, where are they now?

 

Ajax appoint Martin Jol

 

Henry could return to Arsenal, says Wenger

 

Vincent Kompany's mum stopped him signing for Manchester United 

 

Wolfsburg clinch first Bundesliga title

 

Ronaldinho left out of Brazil squad

 

Figo to play in China

 

Carlton Cole wants to be 'more of a nutter'

 

Fat Ronaldo in trouble for pulling opponent's hair

 

Top five controversial team selections

 

English football is ruining the game, says Cruyff

 

'Footballers tempted by gangsters every day'

 

Cristiano Ronaldo in Transporter 2

 

India's skipper is furious

 

Faubert falls asleep on Real Madrid bench

 

Ferguson reveals Lampard admiration

 

Merson: I lost £7 million

 

Top Ten British managers

 

West Brom's Bednar suspended after cocaine and cannabis bust

 

Eduardo pays for taxi for West Ham fan

 

Marcheda kicked out of Man U celebration party

 

Ferguson describes the young striker as a 'hard bastard'

 

Gazza: I should have joined Man U

 

Drogba wants out again

 

Ferguson: Torres needs to move on

 

Noel Gallagher: Manchester City scout

 

Adebayor says it's all about the money

 

Maldini: The Portrait

 

Ballack gets over-familiar with Busquets

 

Zola wins libel case against BBC

 

Milan 3-3 Albania

 

The Ten Best Relegation Escapes

 

Swedish hooligans brawl on airplane

 

Mexican clubs told to clean their toilets

 

Rafa blames lack of cash for his failures

 

Hughes: Free-kicks will ruin Ronaldo's knees

 

Michael Johnson's career could be over

 

Cheltenham manager barred from pub for 'rowdy behaviour'

 

Death of Scandinavian monarch may force English club's eviction

 

Ajax eye McClaren

 

UEFA silence Tom Ovrebo

 

Guardiola: Chelsea will be overcome by 'footballing orgasm'

 

Health and safety officials pull the plug on Wolve parade

 

Fletcher in tears

 

Dimitar Berbatov wants to be a gangster

 

Jimmy Glass: Dorset taxi driver

 

Mexican fotballer issues apology after 'Swine Flu prank'

 

WAG Gemma Atkinson turns down Maradona

 

Referee of the Year Award

 

Swine Flu causes Copa Libatadores problems

 

Beckham pictured with Hungarian nude model

 

Can football solve theological disputes?

 

Ferguson criticises Craven Cottage changing rooms

 

Serie A to form break-away league

 

Wenger accused of 'child-trafficking'

 

Paolo Maldini is my favourite player, says Ferguson

 

Fergie: Lippi smoked a cigar while I was being drowned

 

Carlos Vela quarantined over Swine Flu scare

 

Terry and Lampard to play for West Ham

 

"Ronaldo: The Movie" in the pipeline

 

Arsenal players are jealous of Arshavin, says player's agent

 

Prince Charles praises Capello

 

Adebayor likens himself to Beyonce

 

Swine Flu closes football stadiums

 

Keeper sent-off after altercation with ball boy 

 

Carla Bruni insists upon Henry invitation

 

Fabregas: I'm a Man United fan

 

Ferguson bans Marceda from Manchester's casinos 

 

Michael Jackson wants Rio Ferdinand backstage

 

Female reporter gets hit in the head

 

The alternative Player of the Year

 

I don't watch porn, says Nicola Legrottaglie

 

Dinamo Bucharest cheat death after plane's emergency landing

 

The world's 10 most over-rated footballers

 

England is a coach's paradise, says Mourinho

 

Mourinho: Fans aren't ractist, just ignorant

 

Inter ready to sever Adriano's contract

 

Bookie pays out £500k after Arsenal-Liverpool game

 

Torres wants Madrid's Pepe banned for 10 matches

 

Anderson's Manchester United team-mates set fire to his shoes

 

John Lennon dreamt of playing for Liverpool

 

Thierry Henry's ex-wife is a Trekkie

 

Supermodel Gisele wins $1m betting on Inter

 

Phil Neville thanks his wife for penalty warning

 

Racism mars Juve-Inter tie

 

Wenger: Wembley not fit for football

 

MPs warn of club debts 

 

Fergie: Ramon Calderon is a dinosaur

 

Beckham shines as Milan thump Torino 

 

Viagra treatment for footballers

 

UEFA ban Macedonian club for 8 years

 

Wenger: I could have signed Drogba for £100k

 

Maldini confirms retirement

 

The decline of 10 once great clubs

 

Waiter refuses to serve Beckham

 

Scolari to QPR

 

Peer pressure forces Stephen Ireland to get his car re-sprayed

 

Cristiano Ronaldo's fittest girlfriends

 

Klinsmann sues newspaper over crucifiction

 

Brazilian manager punches ref

 

Female streaker at the Madejski

 

Houllier should stop lying, says Anelka

 

'We're shit,' says table topping Wolves manager Mick MaCarthy

 

Linesman gives player life-saving treatment

 

Ramos sorry for sneaking out to bull fight

 

Mrs. Arshavin: You can't beat a bit of pirozhki 

 

Obama backs US World Cup bid

 

Henry says Ronaldo's better than Messi

 

Five red-cards in Brazilian 'peace' match

 

Ramos misses Madrid match for bull fight 

 

Football-free Easter urged by Archbishop

 

Arshavin unhappy with everyday life

 

Adriano: I had Chelsea deal

 

San Lorenzo fans brand their players 'mercenaries'

 

Fiorentina defender denies Adrian Mutu got his girlfriend preganant

 

Adriano has mental problems, says Sao Paolo doctor

 

Red Star players: No money for food rent

 

25 most valuable football teams

 

Lucas: Rafa cost us the game 

 

Ancelotti agrees Chelsea deal

 

Juninho set for Boro role

 

Adriano's ex-girlfriend says he needs help

 

Five Accrington Stanley players charged with match-fixing

 

Police recieve Podolski assault claim


South Korea reject North's poinsoning claim

 

Player yellow carded for farting

 

Manchester United are shameful and unethical, says Lazio chairman 

 

Anelka thanks Allardyce for 'the best times of my career' 

 

Adriano kidnap fears played down

 

North Korea protests to FIFA over South Korea defeat 

 

Neil Warnock would rather go out for a curry than watch England play

 

Dunga: Milan are wrecking Kaka

 

Alex Ferguson blasts 'self-promoting' Lawrenson

 

Adriano goes AWOL

 

Hicks defaults on $525m loans

 

Podolski slaps Ballack

 

Blame Rio for my rope dance - Crouch

 

Capello is clever, sayd Steven Gerrard

 

Kaka insults Milan

 

Riots in Turin as Giovinco signs for Arsenal

 

Luca Toni promises to walk through Munich naked

 

Daniel Agger offers to tatoo his team-mates

 

Cisse arrested at lap-dancing club after 'grabbing woman by throat' 

 

Romanian linesman pulls out a gun

 

Queiroz: I'll shave my beard when we score two goals

 

Kaka: Gerrard is the world's best

 

The 10 worst football kits of all time

 

Stampede at Ivory Coast games kills 19

 

Rooney set to be a father

 

Henry Kissenger backs US World Cup bid

 

Tottenham want Fabio Cannavaro

 

Roy Keane quized by police over dog row

 

Fabregas arrogant and out of control, say Arsenal team-mates 

 

Gordon Brown and Socrates talk football at Brazilian shrine 

 

Mancini rejects Manchester United coaching role

 

John Terry's mother and mother-in-law arrested for shoplifting

 

Pele lost his virginity to a man, says Maradona

 

Loyalists issue Boruc death threat

 

Scudamore: Blatter's proposal is xenophobic

 

Gazza to join Mourinho at Inter Milan

 

Robinho and Adriano party with transvestite

 

Ronaldo makes it 4 in 5 at Corinthians

 

Chelsea search for 'Asian Star'

 

Argentinian ref sends off 18 players from the same team

 

Portuguese duo dropped after calamitous penalty 

 

Robinho may sue Pele 

 

Shilton: Almunia's not our man

 

Dunga 'close to tears'

 

Bayern dismiss Aiden McGeady rumour

 

Two UAE footballers sentenced to death

 

Zidane's son to make his international debut for Spain 

 

John Terry wants to join the army

 

Jermaine Pennant's ex-girlfriend sells her engagement ring on ebay

 

Mourinho branded 'pathetic' by Serie A managers

 

Bookmaker Paddy Power may well have shot itself in the shot

 

Liverpool need Jose Mourinho to win the Premier League. So says Stan Collymore  

 

International team rocked by lesbian sex scandal

 

Pele claims Ronaldo and Robinho took drugs

 

Pires: Wenger killed my Arsenal career

 

Liverpool tried to hijack Arshavin's Arsenal move

 

Ramon Calderon insulted and attacked during festival

 

Fowler banned for using mobile at the wheel

 

Drogba cautioned by police

 

Hear ye John Lukic, he says Arsenal must grow as people

 

Spanish club president arrested after shootout in a brothel

 

Capello backs Barca for the Champions League

 

One in five French footballers 'tests positive'

 

Fans turn on Maradona

 

Corinthians are looking to lure Zidane out of retirement and pair him with Fat Ronaldo

 

Elano leaves a dirty note on Robinho's Lamborghini

 

Dutch police confiscate Marseilles fans' weapons 

 

The Top 10 dives

 

Ronaldinho ordered to pay architect EUR10,000

 

Chelsea will ofload Deco to Atletico Mardid in the summer

 

Cheryl Cole's brother faces jail

 

Pizzaro facing 2 year ban

 

85-year-old woman shot at Boca Juniors game

 

Pardew sorry for rape comment 

 

Alfonso Alves burgled during match

 

Andrei Arshavin's sex faces 

 

Footballer shot dead just as he's about to equalize

 

Roy Keane looking for a job abroad 

 

Harry Redknapp would like to sign David Beckham

 

Newcastle's Xisco is probably gay

 

The 10 best dribblers in the world

 

Capello explains Italian Champions League exits  

 

Giovani Dos Santos joins Ipswich

 

Rooney: I hate Liverpool

 

Kinnears return delayed

 

Two in two for Fat Ronaldo

 

Gulf War pilot sacked after letting Robbie Savage on to flight deck

 

Ronaldo's mum: My son has not had sex with 100 women

 

Casillas cries after Liverpool win

 

Riquelme quits Argentina after Maradona snub

 

Rooney kicks Tevez in training

 

Telford striker suspended after missing match whilst under arrest

 

Andrei Arshavin doesn't want to email Nicklas Bendtner

 

Top 10 most underrated players 

 

Dunga says fat Ronaldo still has an international future

 

Arshavin: Gazza is my No.1

 

AZ or not to AZ? The Eredivisie is the Answer
Written by Darren Douglas   
Friday, 06 March 2009 00:52

Now for an update on the Eredivisie, and a look at how the football giants of the Dutch lowlands have been fairing. To be honest there has been little change in the standings. As the weeks move on AZ Alkmaar continue to exuberate a dominance on Dutch football, which resembes Manchester Utd's current control in the Premiership.

 

 

Last weekend they again demonstrated how accomplished they have become, particularly at home, by the way in which they dominated and dismissed FC Groningen 3-0. The visitors are far from incompetent either, as they themselves are chasing a Uefa Cup spot in the table, and their defeat left them still in sixth place. For those who flutter on football, AZ Alkmaar for now are the Dutch equivalent of backing Celtic or Rangers to win a league game, particularly when at home.

 

 

A brace from the unexpected source, Graziano Pellè, helped AZ on their way. The Italian is still unproven in the Netherlands, and his efforts at the weekend made it six goals for the club since his arrival from Serie B at the beginning of last season. The first came after only three minutes, when Swerts crossed delightfully from the right by-line and Pellè ghosted in to steal a free header with the defence frozen.

 

 

That was the one chance converted from at least half a dozen clear opportunities that AZ were to have in the first half. In the second period they continued to dominate, and as the chances came it was only a matter of time until Groningen were made to pay. Finally, AZ were rewarded with a second goal in the 57th minute, this time from a corner, Graziano Pellè rose to head in the set-piece and stop any thoughts of a Groningen revival.

 

 

Pellè was denied a hat-trick of headers by a goal-line clearance, before their third and final goal came in the final five minutes. Moussa Dembélé intercepted a pass in his own half before going on a surging run through midfield, he reached the edge of the area and then unleashed a great inside-out curling shot into the goal.

 

 

Consequently Louis van Gaal's team are now unbeaten in twenty-five league games. Since they lost their only games so far in the first two Eredivisie fixtures of the season, they have gone on to win twenty and draw three! With no European commitments and still in the domestic KNVB Cup, they have not lost any game in fact since the 13th of September. They now look like they will surely chase down and secure only the second Eredivsie title in the club's history.

 

 

As for the teams trying to catch AZ, there was more of the same. Steve McClaren and his team FC Twente continue to defy those expecting an implosion. After being unlucky in their Uefa Cup defeat against Marseille in mid-week, FC Twente maintained their own four month unbeaten run back in the league. They were at home facing relegation strugglers ADO Den Haag, and they managed a 1-0 win to again close the gap between their second spot and AZ to a mere nine points!

 

 

The solitary goal came from a likely source, Blaise Kufo swooped to head in Ron Stam's cross, rather like Yordan Letchkov did for Bulgaria at World Cup '94. The captain is an incredible goal machine, and despite the fact he'll be 34 at the end of this season, he's still very good. Kufo has more goals for FC Twente this season than anyone else, not too surprising as he has done that for the past five seasons, and Sunday's effort was his one hundredth league goal for the club.

 

 

After last night McClaren's team is still on for an unlikely domestic double, they defeated relegation bound De Graafschap 1-0 in the KNVB Cup quarter-final, although they had to wait until the end of stoppage time to do so. It would cap an impressive first season in Holland if McClaren could go on to win the Dutch equivalent of the FA Cup, as with the league though AZ Alkmaar are still standing in their way...

 

 

In rounding up the remainder of the Eredivisie meetings, Ajax continued their recent resurgence by beating FC Utrecht 2-0 away from home. They may not have been entirely convincing but Marco van Basten's team have now won three league games in a row, a sharp contrast with their terrible form of a month ago.

 

 

The fans of FC Utrecht were certainly not impressed with Ajax's performance, bad-taste chants and an array of missiles onto the pitch voiced their displeasure. Ajax managed to keep their focus though and rounded off a good week that also saw them progress in the Uefa Cup at the expense of Fiorentina. They remain third in the league, three points behind FC Twente.

 

 

Meanwhile the reigning champions PSV provided more evidence of their inconsistencies and why they will not retain their title this season. In an exciting match they eventually went down 3-2 at home, and were leap-frogged in the table by Heerenveen. PSV went behind early and responded well by dominating the play and hitting back with two goals. The second half saw Heerenveen claim an equaliser soon after the re-start, chances then came for both teams to snatch a win. With the match looking like it was heading for a draw the final minute yielded a penalty for the away team and Danijel Pranjic stepped up to inflict defeat on PSV.

 

 

It was actually PSV's first league defeat since mid-November, but too many draws and a poor November overall have left the champions in 5th place and they need to hit their stride if they want to claim Champions League qualification. As for Heerenveen, they have hit form at the right time, their performances in the last three months have seen them rise up the table and they could yet catch up with Ajax.

 

 

Feyenoord also toiled once again, the club may be celebrating it's centenary but their path back to being challengers for the Eredivisie will go on for the foreseeable. By the usual standards expected, Feyenoord have had a terrible season, and last weekend they were lucky not to lose again. This time they showed some resolve and twice came back from being a goal behind.

 

 

Their opponents were Vitesse Arnhem, who also reside in mid-table just above Feyenoord. Thankfully for the home team they were able to rely on the veteran Roy Makaay, his equaliser saved Feyenoord with twenty minutes remaining. Unfortunately they were not able to push on for only their fourth league win since the end of November, as a result they still languish in eleventh place and the immediate future remains bleak.

 

 

Finally news of Roda JC, after losing four of their previous five league games, times were looking desperate for the team from Kerkrade. They have never been relegated from the Eredivisie but this season they have been cannon-fodder for most teams. Their proud record was given a boost at the weekend though, a timely 3-1 win over fellow relegation candidates De Graafschap may yet go a long way to preserving their status.

 

 

Probably Roda JC's most comfortable game for quite a while, the win has increased the gap between them and second-bottom De Graafschap to four points. Roda JC are now just two points adrift at third-bottom of the table and have a chance of avoiding the relegation play-off system. Amazingly they still have the KNVB Cup as a welcome distraction, and tonight they face a very winnable quarter-final against Eredivisie's bottom club Volendam. I just hope for Roda JC's sake that they don't go on to emulate Middlesbrough's famous cup-finals and relegation season (1996-97).....

 

Results: PSV 2-3 Heerenveen, Willem II 0-3 Heracles, NAC 3-1 Sparta Rotterdam, Roda JC 3-1 De Graafschap, AZ 3-0 Groningen, FC Utrecht 0-2 Ajax, Twente 1-0 ADO Den Haag, Volendam 1-1 NEC, Feyenoord 2-2 Vitesse.

 
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