Some celebrities really want you to know that they like football. Perhaps supporting a team counteracts a perceived lack of masculinity. Or maybe it just enhances the manly traits that they already have. Either way, when certain ‘talents’ hit the big time they go out of their way to let their affiliations be known.
Elton John - Watford
Not just a chubby little gay, John is a long-time, long-suffering Watford fan – a commitment more honest and longer-lasting than his sham-marriage in 1984. The dumpy songster certainly looked to assert his masculinity when he bought the club and installed himself as chairman.
Uri Gellar – Exeter City
To give the spoon-bending psychic some credit, whilst most celebs plump for the cushy world of top flight team, Israeli-born Gellar has a season-ticket at Exeter City’s St. James’s Park. Although bringing Michael Jackson to a match briefly boosted attendances, his ploy of placing energy-infused crystals behind the goals saw the team lose 5–1.
Ray Winstone – West Ham
Cockney hardman/thespian Winstone likes it to be known that he’s a real tough nut - a veritable cockney hardman. Part of that shtick involves forever blowing bubbles.
Russell Brand – West Ham
Love him or loathe him, the salubrious lady’s man just won’t shut up about his ‘beloved’ Hammers. We get it, Russell: you shag a lot of women and you love football - that’s more than enough to counter your camp coutnenance.
N.B. Don’t rule out ‘an Elton’ at some point.
David Mellor - Chelsea
A strange looking former-Conservative politician with a fetish for having his toes sucked, Mellor is a life-long Chelsea fan. He is often seen parading about Stamford Bridge on matchdays, chewing the fat with the proles. Whilst ‘playing away’ Mellor would make love to his mistress wearing a full Chelsea kit.
Danny Dyer – West Ham
Dyer has clearly taken a leaf out of big Ray’s book. A one-dimensional actor (plays a cockney geezer who lavs football), the east-Londoner has gone out of his way to be typecast to ensure that more challenging roles don’t present themselves.