The AWOL Rome returns from his 90minuteonline hiatus to babble to you once mo
re. ‘Where have you been?’ I hear none of you ask. Well, a fortnight ago, I moved to Seoul, South Korea and so I’ve been quite busy adjusting to my new surroundings.
Last week, everyone’s favourite division, the K-League, began its new season. I’ve seen plenty of games in Europe & South America, but never taken in an Asian league game, so yesterday I hopped onto the underground and made my way to the west of the city to watch the epic confrontation between the mighty FC Seoul and the legendary Gangwon FC.
FC Seoul started their campaign with a 6-1 away victory, so I was hopeful that there would be plenty of goalmouth action. My Welsh buddy who’s been out here for a couple of years compared the standard to that of the Championship, a very decent level indeed. FC Seoul were runners up last year, having been defeated in a title deciding play off against rivals Suwon Bluewings, so I was optimistic that there would be good quality football in the offing.
I was to be disappointed. What I was to witness would surely make a Liga Sagres fixture look like Brazil vs England from 1970.
The setting was pretty magnificent. The World Cup Stadium is a 64,000 all seater and an impressive arena, if a little dull and grey, traditional Korean austerity at work. It was only about a quarter full, but a pretty reasonable atmosphere was created none the less.
You can drink in the stadium which is an obvious bonus, so I settled into my seat with a large cup of Cass, terrible insipid beer, but beer all the same. For a snack, I opted for these stringy strips of squid. Incredibly chewy and not particularly flavoursome unfortunately. Inevitably they have a tangible fishy stench which I remarked would make it hard to score with the ladies later on. My mate suggested that I may net a lesbian.
On with the game then and FC Seoul are sporting their AC Milan rip off home kit. Fortunately Gangwon aren’t in their lurid orange and green, but a more sedate white away strip. The game kicks off very theatrically amid fireworks and toilet roll.
Oh dear. FC Seoul make a very sluggish start. It’s fair to say that they look pretty rubbish. Gangwon don’t appear to be much better, but given the ineptitude of Seoul, they are running rampant.
There are a couple of fancy dans in the Gangwon team who look like they’ve raided Niclas Bendtner’s boot cupboard. Vile green boots crosses in for luminous orange boots, who heads home, bang, it’s 1-0 to Gangwon with 10 minutes played. Their fans go nuts and they look a bit like mental St.Patricks day revellers, decked out in orange and green as they are.
You’d think that such a terrible start would inspire some kind of reaction, but FC Seoul continue to look dreadful. The big screen at the opposite end regularly cuts to a close-up of Seoul’s Turkish coach Senol Gomes looking perplexed.
Hang on though! Free-kick to Seoul, the ball is flighted in enticingly and new striker Lee Seung-Ryul nods it in to level the score. Game on!
Well, not exactly. Both teams are now playing poorly and the half seems to be petering out. Late drama though as new French defender Kevin Hatchi volleyballs the ball off the line. He’s off!
Penalty to Gangwon. I’m literally the 12th man here, because I loudly boo the hairbanded striker as he prepares to take the spot kick. I’m joined by my mates and suddenly the whole end is jeering. I’ve introduced South Korea to the art of heckling!
Hairband looks a little rattled and possibly a touch mystified that he is getting abused for his girly hairband by a man who is also sporting one. He drills his penalty against the post and the big screen now splices the action with shots of a relieved and sheepish looking Hatchi on the bench.
It’s half time. The entertainment at the interval is dubious. It’s White Day, a kind of Valentines equivalent and we’re subjected to close ups of Korean couples smooching whilst an obnoxious MC drops tickets between their faces. Still, I can’t mock, I remember watching 2 Lion mascots getting married at a Villa game.
Second half and the quality of football is dropping with the temperature. Highlights include FC Seoul’s lanky front man Dejan falling over whilst attempting a lollipop (step over), some comedically misplaced passes and the Gangwon winger who not so much hugs the touchline as runs about 2 metres off the pitch.
It’s getting pretty chilly and I realise that my right hand is clutching the left over squid that I stuffed in my pocket. I could do a really effective Bristol City smell my fingers chant now.
I’m not sure if it’s the bitter cold or the sheer tedium of the game, but my brain stops functioning. My Welsh chum revises his opinion of the standard down to Conference level.
The Gangwon coach doesn’t look anything like a football manager. He resembles an owl. We are treated to close ups of him on the big screen. He has a blank expression, a bit vacant. Probably boredom.
Substitutions are quite funny. They get a very grand entrance with rock music and fireworks. Can’t imagine Marlon Harewood coming on to such superstar fanfare.
With about 3 minutes to go, disaster strikes for Seoul as a Gangwon counter attack ends up with their winger cutting it back for the striker to ping it into the roof of the net. The game ends in misery for Seoul which is only fair considering the misery I feel for wasting the princely sum of £4 on the ticket and being subjected to this display of shambolic football.
So, atrocious stuff. An American pal looked a bit rueful about spunking 18,000 won on an FC Seoul scarf, a rash purchase. I’m glad that Seongnam are actually my local side, being only 10 stops away from me on the tube in the east of the city, so I’ll support them I think. Not sure about their dodgy ultra yellow kit though.
Dinner followed, much BBQ meat (not dog, but don’t rest easy Scooby, your time will come) was consumed and copious amounts of beer and Sejou were drained.
Lubricated and inebriated, we found a bar to watch the Man Utd vs Liverpool game. The bar manager was an awkward little sod, so the first few minutes of both halves we had the likes of Beyonce and Britney Spears on commentary. Better than Andy Gray I suppose.
Wow, what a performance. Seeing Liverpool’s last couple of results, you just wonder how well they would have done had Rafa not messed around with his team selections (or alternatively, if he had a stronger squad) in games against the likes of Stoke, Hull and Middlesbrough. Surely though, beating Real Madrid 4-0, then Man Utd 4-1 at Old Trafford should quiten the increasingly vociferous 'Benitez out' contingent.
They’re still not going to win the league this year, but it’s worth remembering the often cited fact that Ferguson didn’t win anything for his first 5 years – and look what he went on to achieve.
It was a great display from Liverpool. Gerrard and Torres were influential as ever. I’ve always thought that Fabio Aurelio was the best of the much criticised selection of Liverpool full backs and he showed Cristiano ‘Jonny Wilkinson’ Ronaldo how to take a free kick. Dossena seems to have found his niche as an impact substitute left winger – his lobbed goal brought back memories of Philippe Albert’s chip in another famous Man Utd tonking (when Newcastle destroyed them 5-0 some years ago).
Man Utd will still win pretty much everything in sight, but it’s good to see they’re not infallible. If they play like that in the Champions League against teams such as Barcelona then they’ll get hammered, but I’m sure yesterdays result will serve as a wake up call against complacency.
As for Villa, I don’t want to talk about it. Should’ve gone for the UEFA Cup Martin, because we’re not going to finish 4th now. With Milan and Valencia out, we would have had a real chance of picking up some silverware. Arsenal have Arshavin in, Walcott & Eduardo back and Rosicky & Fabregas to return, so they are going from strength to strength, whilst we’ve got trips to Old Trafford and Anfield coming up. Doesn't look good.