With Rafał Patyra presumably lying wounded in a field somewhere after my men had done their work, this week’s presenter on Szybka Piłka was Maciej Iwański.
Iwański has a pubic beard, glasses that look as if they came from a joke shop and just oozes the kind of disgusting smarm that finds its way all over women’s skirts in crowded bars.
Michał Kołodziejczyk was back in the pundit’s chair, this week with a new hair cut, but still with the same lack of tact. This was best exhibited when he responded to Iwański’s exhortation to expect a good batch of highlights by bluntly replying that he wasn’t expecting anything of the kind.
Anyway, enough of the soap opera that is Szybka Piłka and on to some actual football.
Five goals and two red cards. It could only be…
Korona Kielce were yet again involved in the game of the week, losing out by one in a five goal thriller with Wisła Kraków. They managed something of astonishing recovery from 3-0 down in the last 20 minutes despite having nine men for over half of that time, but in true Kielce style still lost.
Kielce’s Piotr Malarczyk played a big part in the game, heading against the bar twice in the opening minutes and getting sent off for his third wild challenge of the game on 78 minutes.
Their first red card had come after only 22 minutes when Nikola Mijailovic had put his elbow into Wojciech Łobodziński’s mouth.
Wisła used their numerical advantage to go two up before half time, the first a tidy dink over the keeper from Andraz Kirm, the second a tap in from central defender Marcelo, who clearly has no idea that a central defender is supposed to stand nearer his own box than the opponents’.
Tomas Jirsak got Wisła’s third after 56 minutes and everyone thought the result was in the bag. It turned out it was, but Kielce’s late fightback had bums on the edges of seats and piss soaking into the cotton of once clean underpants.
Ernest Konon and Piotr Gawęcki got their goals and showed that Kielce, even with nine men, have the attacking flair and balls to get at the league’s best teams. If only they could keep all their men on the pitch, they might actually have a chance of picking up some points.
They’ve amassed four red cards, scored four goals and conceded eight in two games to leave themselves in 11th place with 11 points. They’re not good statistics for the fans, but they make for great entertainment.
Get a grippe
Piast Gliwice put their loss to Lechia Gdańsk down to the fact that they were suffering from a flu outbreak.
It’s a pity the flu wasn’t around to take the blame for their other five defeats of the season and take the heat off their manager Marek Wleciałowski.
As we’re fond of pointing out humorous names here at 90minutesonline, it’s probably worth mentioning that Lechia’s first goal came courtesy of the head of Krzysztof Bąk, whose surname is pronounced “bonk”.
Poland’s new boss
You might think Zagłębie Lubin boss Franciszek Smuda has nothing to smile about. His side are, to call a spade a spade, shit, and were bottom of the table with a measly six points from 11 games before this weekend.
You’d be wrong though, because Smuda has just been named Poland’s new boss after Leo Beenhakker’s sacking last month. Actually, what does he have to smile about?
Despite his new job he’s sticking around at Lubin for the moment, but is likely to clear off soon.
This week he steered his side to an impressive 2-0 win over Polonia Bytom. Both goals were grasscutters, although the first went down as an own goal by Bytom’s keeper Wojciech Skaba. The second was a thirty yard effort from Senegalese, number 99-wearing Mahmadou Traore.
The rest
Lech Poznań returned to winning ways thanks to Robert Leawndowski slipping over and getting a penalty for his troubles. Bartosz Bosacki put away the spot kick to condemn Śląsk Wrocław to a much deserved 1-0 defeat.
Śląsk were absolutely dreadful in front of goal, and their best efforts came from an air shot from eight yards and an awkward over head kick that went over the heads of most spectators.
Legia Warszawa duffed up second-placed Ruch Chorzów 2-0. The win was sealed by two close range goals from Marcin Mięciel and lifted Legia into third.
Arka Gdynia’s Przemysław Trytko impressed with two goals in the first six minutes against Odra Wodzisław. The 22-year-old Pole scored his first by jinking past two men and side footing into the corner from the edge of the box. His second was a spectacular volley that lifted Arka to the heady heights of ninth in the table.
GKS Bełchatów pushed their way into the top five as Cracovia’s Marcin Cabaj decided to try and save shots by sliding his thigh along the turf.
Jagiellonia Białystok won too. Whoop whoop.
Results
KGHM Zagłębie Lubin 2 – 0 Polonia Bytom
Cracovia Kraków 0 – 1 GKS Bełchatów
Piast Gliwice 0 – 2 Lechia Gdańsk
Korona Kielce 2 – 3 Wisła Kraków
Arka Gdynia 2 – 0 Odra Wodzisław
Lech Poznań 1 – 0 Śląsk Wrocław
Jagiellonia Białystok 1 – 0 Polonia Warszawa
Legia Warszawa 2 – 0 Ruch Chorzów
The top
Wisła Kraków - 28
Ruch Chorzów – 25
Legia Warszawa - 21
Polonia Bytom -20
Lech Poznań – 18
GKS Bełchatów - 18