The way things are going Roy Hodgson may well be haring onto the pitch in Donetsk before England's first game in the European championships against France, and grabbing at random any fan from the stands who's wearing a current England strip.
Such is the ever growing list of casualties being clocked up by the England players one wonders whether there shall be any professional footballers left to represent the country, it seems someone didn't pay for their lucky heather.
I can't recall another build up to a major tournament when England have been cursed so badly with players having to return home because they are not fit to play. Before he even conjured up his 23 representatives to take to Eastern Europe, Hodgson was denied the important talents of Kyle Walker (toe), Michael Dawson (ankle), Chris Smalling (groin), Jack Rodwell (hamstring), Darren Bent (ankle) and most crushingly Jack Wilshire (knee).
It's a shame to have been denied the services of those players, some would have started the games and some would have beefed up the squad and given the manager good solid options throughout the competition. Wayne Rooney's 2 match ban at the start of the tournament doesn't help matters but at least there has been plenty of time to adjust to that issue and pencil in a game plan or two.
Having then blown away the eraser dust Hodgson picked his enforced, favoured squad to take to the Ukraine and Poland, settled down and started to construct his assault on Euro 2012. ...but then, during the warm up game period he had Gary Cahil (jaw fracture), Gareth Barry (stomach) and Frank Lampard (thigh) snatched from his grasp, if not more devastatingly, erased from his starting 11 team sheet.
I'm sure Hodgson isn't one for expletives but anyone would have forgiven him for any tirade of foul language and joined in the thumping of his desk with frustration. Back to the drawing board then, and the England manager plucked from his reserves to cover for the losses, Jordan Henderson, Phil Jagielka and Martin Kelly all came in to complete the new 23 man squad.
With all this turmoil and the difficulties in now selecting a starting 11 and the tactics with which to utilise within the games, Hodgson must have felt like slipping out the back door and jumping on a plane to anywhere. But that's not the man himself, as like any top quality manager he shall relish the challenge in front of him and with the years of experience he has gained throughout his career, formulate the right plan to tackle the right moment.
One starts to feel that this England side will be kicking off at a major tournament with the lowest expectations ever recorded in national football history. I for one am quietly glad of all this bedlam as it allows both management and players to take part without a heavy yolk of pressure and expectation weighing them down.
I'm not about to proclaim that England through all this mess have a great chance of winning this competition (I'm not insane). However, it could be a summer where we as a supportive nation aren't collectively embarrassed or confused as to why our 'Golden boys' have once again failed to show any real guile or guts.
Making it out of the group stage should be regarded as a triumph for England and anything further will be a surreal experience that all of us would happily live through.