T
he real World Cup experience can’t be found in Brazil, there I said it. Brazil seems to be hosting a fantastic tournament, don’t get me wrong. But this is just for a lucky minority. The real experience can be found in living rooms up and down the country and that is what I will be having this evening.
The real World Cup experience.Me, with an 11pm kick off while an early start at work waits for me tomorrow morning. It’s a 32inch TV, not the 52inch that everyone on the Curry’s adverts seems to be buying solely for the tournament. And joining me will be a few cans of Kopparberg (other fruity ciders are available) as all of my actual friends are far too sensible to stay up until 1am on a school night. And who could blame them?
A few helpful things to remember:
The game I will be watching is the Group G game between the USA and Portugal.
A win for the USA will see them go top of the group and Portugal eliminated. A draw all but eliminates Portugal as well due to their poor goal difference.
I’m doing a score prediction league with my friends, so before the tournament started I predicted that the USA would win 1-0.
My bet for this game is £1 (big money) on Cristiano Ronaldo to score first and Portugal to win 2-1, returning £17. There may be some bet in play action later in the evening, it depends on how the cider intake goes.
So, let it begin.....
10:42pm – The line-ups are out. I’m doing that typical English thing of picking out the players that play or have played in the Premier League. USA have included Clint Dempsey, Stoke’s Geoff Cameron and Tim Howard. Portugal are rocking former Liverpool and Chelsea midfielder Raul Meireles, Nani and of course Cristiano Ronaldo. Maybe most intriguingly, they still have a place for £8m Spurs flop HelderPostiga who managed one Premier League goal during his one year stay at White Hart Lane in 2003/04.
10:51pm – Can’t watch any of the build-up, it clashes with TOWIE. I imagine that this kind of compromise is a big part of most people’s world cup experience.
10:53pm – On the plus side when I do get to turn over at least I am turning onto BBC. My half time won’t be ruined by Adrian Chiles this time!
11:00pm – And we’re off. USA get the game underway. Cider number one has been cracked open.
11:01pm – Last time I watched the USA they were already 1-0 up by this time. Slow and cagey start? By comparison, I suppose.
11:04pm – That Ronaldo’s a bit good.
11:05pm – Nani!!!! 1-0 to Portugal.Poorly defended cross by the USA. Geoff Cameron cocked it up. Even Nani can’t miss from there.
11:07pm – It’s only just occurred to me that my 1-0 to USA score prediction and my £1 bet are already done with. To say I’m a little disappointed is an understatement.
11:14pm – Meireles and Postiga are both down injured for Portugal. Raul Meireles still has the look of someone who ‘could’ be mental. You just don’t know.
11:15pm – Postiga can’t continue, he’s gone off. The same thing happened to Hugo Almeida in Portugal’s first game. Playing up front for them is cursed!
11:18pm – A friend of mine just tweeted that he has to do a presentation tomorrow to nearly 100 people. Yeah, well I just lost £1 mate. We’ve all got problems!
11:21pm – DaMarcus Beasley is playing for the USA, didn’t notice him before. He played for Man City and Rangers. Apparently he’s playing in his 4th World Cup. Not too shabby, DaMarcus. Who, fact fans, are the other two USA players to have played in 4 World Cups? Both have played in the Premier League. Answers later, if I remember.
11:24pm – Mark Lawrenson is talking about Cristiano Ronaldo’s hair. That should tell you that the game has passed without too many major incidents since the goal. Just as I say that, Nani lets a pretty straight forward pass roll under his foot for a throw in. Another bad touch from him seconds later leads to another throw. Remember United fans, Moyes gave him a new 5 year deal!
11:32pm – Mark Lawrenson says that the USA have been the better side since the goal. I hate to agree with the man but wouldn’t you know it, he’s right.
11:36pm – It’s easy to see how a top team like Germany put 4 past this Portugal side. USA haven’t got out of 1st gear yet but are causing problems.
11:39pm – Liquid break for both teams, apparently it is around 90 degrees in Manaus. Good time for me to start cider number two!
11:42pm – CR7 lining up a free kick.
11:43pm – Nowhere near.
11:44pm – Great double save by Tim Howard! He should have got more on the first which he only tipped onto the post but the second was phenomenal.
11:47pm – Half time, 1-0 Portugal. Decent game, both teams looking to get the ball down and play. More goals in this for sure (you watch it end 1-0 now I’ve said that).
11:48pm – Brad Friedel, Phil Neville and Alan Hansen join Gary Lineker in the studio. God I hope Friedel has personality or else Lineker will be left talking to himself.
11:54pm – For my money, BBC are continuing to annihilate ITV with the quality of their coverage.
11:58pm – I have no idea if I fancy an in-play bet. BBC means no ads. No ads means no Ray Winstone telling me what to do. “Bet in play, naaaaaaow”.
12:01am – BBC have found an attractive lady in the crowd to film for a few seconds, as is tradition.
12:03am – Portugal make a change, Andre Almeida the left back off. Not sure if it’s an injury as USA had a lot of joy down Portugal’s left hand side. We kick off for the second half.
12:09am – Oh yeah, the quiz. The other two players to play at 4 World Cups for the USA were former Man City and Sunderland midfielder Claudio Reyna and former Leicester City and Spurs keeper Kasey Keller.
12:10am – Cider number three. They are little cans by the way. I’m not George Best.
12:13am – Great break for the USA down the right leads to an exceptional goal line clearance by Costa for Portugal. Should have been a goal.
12:15am – It’s a shame that Cristiano Ronaldo came along. Purely for the fact that the joint highest leading goal scorer in World Cup history will forever be known as ‘Fat Ronaldo’.
12:18am – After Brazil, the USA are meant to be the most well represented team at this World Cup and they are making themselves heard now as their team apply more pressure.
12:20am – ‘Thin Ronaldo’ slices a good chance miles wide.
12:21am – Goal! Absolutely stunning strike for the USA by Jermaine Jones. Goalkeeper doesn’t even move as it flies past him. 1-1 and it had been coming. USA! USA! USA!
12:25am – Portugal have woken up now and we should be in for a decent finish.
12:26am – Raul Meireles’ beard leaves the pitch, not far behind it is Raul Meireles.
12:27am – Mark Lawrenson refers to Portugal’s oncoming sub as “Portugal’s Darius Vassell” and for the life of me I don’t know what he’s on about.
12:28am – “Nani, promising career ruined by nagging brain injury”. Lawro is on fire.
12:34am – Just updated my Facebook status to tell people who probably don’t care that I’m watching this game. Due to my social networking dependency I will probably Tweet, Instagram and Snapchat this before long.
12:37am – I have just Tweeted, Instagramed and Snapchatted it.
12:40am – Goal! Clint Dempsey with a tap-in and Portugal could be going out! I was going to make ‘USA to win 2-1’ my in-play bet. I didn’t. Bollocks.
12:41am – “I’m not biased I just want USA to win”. You’re funny occasionally Lawro but there’s no way we can take you seriously. No way.
14:43am – Ronaldo missed a sitter. Offside anyway.
12:46am – Nani has done a fantastic job of scoring Portugal’s only goal (so far – 2 mins left) yet still convincing me that he is dreadful.
12:47am – As best I can tell Nani is very angry with Bruno Alves for the terrible first touch that Nani just took, gifting the USA another throw.
12:48am – USA throw on Omar Gonzalez. I had him on Football Manager, he’s decent.
12:53am – Goal! Portugal have equalised! Great cross from Ronaldo, impossible to defend, Silvester Varela with the header. And that’s the last kick of the game. Portugal have a life line, the USA can’t believe it.
12:55am – Great game, worth staying up for as most games have been so far, but I’m tired now. Everyone in my house seems to be asleep. Based on my near constant monitoring of social networks it appears that all of my friends and colleagues are in bed too. Tomorrow may be a long day. But then that, as well as cider, gambling losses, useless trivia and the ridiculing of millionaire footballers is all part of the real World Cup experience.