Football is a game rich in tradition. It began somewhere, possibly a pub car park, possibly somewhere involving grass and roots.
Somewhere along the line someone coined the phrase jumpers for goalposts. In homage to that and in the second of what could possibly become a regular feature on internet football games, let us this week examine Jumpers for Goalposts 2.
What’s not to like about Holland? The country has a liberal stance on everything from the sex-trade through to recreational drugs - and even defending. With teams’ ramshackle backlines and the attacking ethos, even an average striker can score a hatful of goals in the Eredivisie.
Unfortunately, therefore, buying a striker from Holland is like choosing a hooker after a bag of magic mushrooms. You could get lucky and pick well – i.e. Romario, Ronaldo or Ruud Van Nistelrooy - but your skewed sense of perception may well lead to a clanger.
PSV Eindhoven: 122 apps/105gls
Chelsea: 25 apps/ 4gls
I still have a Chelsea shirt with ‘Kezman 9’ on the back. Testament to a naïve attempt to be a smart-ass. “You wait, this guy will be better than Van Nistelrooy”, I arrogantly proclaimed, wearing said shirt, just after he’d signed. Sometimes I still wear it in public, reminding me never again to make such a rash decision.
Football; a pastime, a passion, or for many a release. It is usually argued that football is the biggest and most watched sport on Earth. Some people may stress otherwise and suggest cricket, think of the population of India alone for example and then add some. Or say a pub sport such as pool or darts, unlikely I'd say and in some eyes not 'real' sports but they do have large reservoirs of untapped amateurs.
In reality it would need a brave person to seriously debate that football isn't at the front of most categories in sport. The most watched, the most played and the most popular, it is difficult to see any other that competes. Football though, like anything popular, will have many detractors and so it should, otherwise the world would be a very boring place, a communist utopia perhaps (if such a thing could exist).
This week in Portugal the top three all looked to keep up their title chases but couldn’t help behaving like little children.
You see one of them fell over and cut their knee and the other two stood around laughing and pointing.
Contrary to what the headline writers may say, Liverpool’s 4-1 victory at Old Trafford was nothing more than their usual turgid fare. The scoreline flatters to deceive: in actual fact the Scousers were second best for most of the game.
Liverpool just don't know how to play attacking football. Other than the probing brilliance of Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres, they offer little going forward.