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New season's resolutions
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Written by Ian Shine
With the new season well and truly upon us, it’s about time we all shared our new season’s resolutions.
Every football fan has one, whether it’s to go to more away games, watch more Spanish football, watch less international friendlies or spend less time in front of Sky Sports News.
“Thanks, it’s a pretty good car. But come on, yours is much better.”
“You think?”
“Yeah, of course. It’s was the fastest car in Europe last season and it won every race by a mile. Mine’s nowhere near as good. Its engine’s temperamental, it doesn’t drive well abroad and it won’t start in the cold weather.”
“I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you my car plus £40m for your car.”
“You must be joking. Why would you do that?”
“I’m serious.”
“What, really?”
“Yeah.”
“Ok then, I'd be an idiot not to do that”
Sometimes events defy logic. The transfer of Inter Milan’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic to Barcelona for a fee of around £40m plus Samuel Eto’o is one such example.
Hallelujah, the sport of the Gods returns tomorrow as the English Football League kicks off what is the most exciting of campaigns – a footy World Cup year.
It has been one hell of a tumultuous pre-season for 90minutesonline. Mercurial captain and editor, David “Hooligan” Moftakhar has gone AWOL, although rumours have surfaced that he was spotted shooting pool and prostitutes at one of Adriano’s infamous transsexual parties in Sao Paulo.
The exit door has seen more action than a Joey Barton piss-up with combative midfielder Tom Osborne’s career thought to be over after sustaining an imploded cruciate ligament and a ruptured testicle, while flash in the pan import Benjamino Cullen couldn’t resist the lure of the caretaker sweeper role at Spanish giants Extremadura.
Football has produced numerous fashion disasters both on and off the pitch.
Djibril Cisse’s Klub 9 label is the epitome of this off the pitch, specialising in tight sleeveless tops and generic faded logos.
On the pitch it’s hard to find the biggest sinner, but with each new season everyone has a go at outdoing each other with arbitrary colour schemes, unnecessarily large club badges and sponsors, more stripes than you can find on a herd of zebras and crap collars.
If footballers weren’t the modern day deities that they are, you might even be persuaded to think that the people working for Nike or some other sportswear designer have a vendetta against footballers and are just trying to make them look like numpties for the next nine months.
So with no further ado, here’s a rundown of this season’s worst football kits.
The summer may still technically be here but already the new season has kicked-off in the Netherlands. The Eredivisie is the first major domestic league to have started in Europe, the next to follow will be Ligue 1 in France this coming Saturday. The Dutch league campaign began last weekend and so finally there is some real competitive football to report on.
There has been some upheaval in the Eredivisie since the end of last season, most of which occurred not long after AZ Alkmaar were crowned champions for only the second time in their history. The major news centred around AZ's manager Louis van Gaal deciding to leave the club. After securing the Eredivisie title it was confirmed that he was leaving to take up the manager's mantle at Bayern Munich, disappointing as this may have been to the AZ fans it is difficult to begrudge van Gaal moving on after securing a major footnote in the club's history.