Saturday, April 05, 2025

The Latest Football News and Opinions From 90 Minutes Online

Rombling: Norwich Gunned down and Svenalution

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The anxious period of anticipation that some know as summer has finally segued into the new season and already there are talking points galore.

 

 

There are new managers, new players, new stadiums and new members of the football league, but some things never change. Ferguson is still moaning, (it’s the goddamn Community Shield, remember your blood pressure) Barton is still fighting anyone who comes within range, Bellamy is acting like a prick, there are still people out there willing to part with vast quantities of money for Peter Crouch and Newcastle United are still a “joke”.

 

New season's resolutions

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With the new season well and truly upon us, it’s about time we all shared our new season’s resolutions.

 

Every football fan has one, whether it’s to go to more away games, watch more Spanish football, watch less international friendlies or spend less time in front of Sky Sports News.

 

Did I miss something?

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“I just wanted to say, I really like your car.”

“Thanks, it’s a pretty good car. But come on, yours is much better.”

“You think?”

“Yeah, of course. It’s was the fastest car in Europe last season and it won every race by a mile. Mine’s nowhere near as good. Its engine’s temperamental, it doesn’t drive well abroad and it won’t start in the cold weather.”

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you my car plus £40m for your car.”

“You must be joking. Why would you do that?”

“I’m serious.”

“What, really?”

“Yeah.”

“Ok then, I'd be an idiot not to do that” 

 

Sometimes events defy logic. The transfer of Inter Milan’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic to Barcelona for a fee of around £40m plus Samuel Eto’o is one such example.

 

Rombling: The Return

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Hallelujah, the sport of the Gods returns tomorrow as the English Football League kicks off what is the most exciting of campaigns – a footy World Cup year.

 

It has been one hell of a tumultuous pre-season for 90minutesonline. Mercurial captain and editor, David “Hooligan” Moftakhar has gone AWOL, although rumours have surfaced that he was spotted shooting pool and prostitutes at one of Adriano’s infamous transsexual parties in Sao Paulo.

 

 

The exit door has seen more action than a Joey Barton piss-up with combative midfielder Tom Osborne’s career thought to be over after sustaining an imploded cruciate ligament and a ruptured testicle, while flash in the pan import Benjamino Cullen couldn’t resist the lure of the caretaker sweeper role at Spanish giants Extremadura. 

 

When football meets fashion

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Football has produced numerous fashion disasters both on and off the pitch.

Djibril Cisse’s Klub 9 label is the epitome of this off the pitch, specialising in tight sleeveless tops and generic faded logos.

On the pitch it’s hard to find the biggest sinner, but with each new season everyone has a go at outdoing each other with arbitrary colour schemes, unnecessarily large club badges and sponsors, more stripes than you can find on a herd of zebras and crap collars.

If footballers weren’t the modern day deities that they are, you might even be persuaded to think that the people working for Nike or some other sportswear designer have a vendetta against footballers and are just trying to make them look like numpties for the next nine months.

So with no further ado, here’s a rundown of this season’s worst football kits.

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